[This is an English translation of my previous post below.]
Today, the expectations and opinions on marriage have changed among the very well-educated youth.
Girls have started earning very well, and go abroad for their higher studies, for employment and to stay there on their own. They are willing to get married only if they really like somebody and not just for the sake of getting married at the “appropriate time”. You may say, well what is wrong with that? Yes, you are right, but the list of expectations of the opposite sex is quite long and demanding.
Marriage to many girls happens to be a curtailment on their freedom. So unless the boy is well qualified and has a decent job with good habits there is no point in pursuing any further. Apart from this he should be quite active in the social network scene and when Googled appear on the first page, such be his achievements. He should show genuine intent in supporting the girl’s career and not interfere in her freedom at any time. Most important of all, he should not be a mama’s boy 🙂
Well, let’s now come to what most boys expect these days! The girl should be well qualified (before marriage itself since they don’t want to spend money for her higher education) and gainfully employed. At the same time she should respect his parents and conform to family traditions. She should be independent enough to carry on her duties on her own, at the same time be not so smart as to override him. His career must take priority over that of his spouse’s and she should be willing to follow him wherever he goes.
Another important issue here is relocation! Who is going to relocate, is it the boy or the girl? Since both are well established in their career when they are thinking about marriage neither one wants to quit their job and move to the other one’s place, unless he/she can get a lateral job transfer within the same company. If this is not resolved before the wedding, then the boy continues to live in his own place and the girl does the same and they only meet during long weekend and holidays. This has become very common.
Both girls and boys don’t want to adjust which is required for a marriage to work. The main reason for this is that they are now marrying in their late 20s and early 30s by which time each is well set in his/her career and also in their principles and dogmas.
Now to the plight of the parents! It is high time they realized that their children are not going to make the decisions based on their inputs. They should learn to be happy on-lookers, learn to welcome inter-caste, inter-language, inter-racial unions and not to worry about the conventional age differences between the bride and the groom. It would be awesome if they learned the language spoken by their son-in-law or daughter-in-law and would score more brownie points from them if they also learned to keep their mouth shut about the dress they wear and the thali that they don’t wear!
Now it is the parents’ turn to get a good name from their kids 🙂