Sweet are the sounds of flute and lute for those who have not heard the babble of their own children!


So many people are unable to have children these days. There are several reasons for that! Whatever may be the reason the fact of the matter is children bring real joy to a household. I have seen couples become dis-interested or frustrated in life after a few year of marriage if they do not have children. But today's scientific advancement in the field of fertility treatments is a real boon to couples who are unable bear children.

What used to be called as a test tube baby in the olden days is now popularly known as IVF (In vitro fertilisation). There has been a tremendous advancement in this field in making it an almost perfect science so that this method of treatment gives hope to thousands of couples to have children.

But it is a very expensive proposition. Not only that, unconditional family support and enormous patience on the part of the couple is a pre requisite for this effort. To begin with, both the husband and wife have to be fully involved and sincere in their quest right from the first appointment with the doctor. There will be innumerable tests and scans to be done on both the husband and wife. The test results may reveal that the problem lies with both of them or just with the husband or only with the wife. What ever may be the outcome the couple should have the capacity to move on to the next step with out dwelling on whose fault it is that they do not have a child. 

If the problem lies in the sperm, the husband is treated with oral medication as well as injections to strengthen the count as well as the motility of the sperm. If the problem exists with the eggs the woman is given treatment to increase her harmone level. There may be several other issues which prevent them from having a child and after sorting out all those issues and making sure that both are ready the doctor collects the sperm and the eggs from both of them.The fertilisation happens outside in a controlled environment. They normally take about ten healthy eggs and fertilise it with the sperm. In most cases about five or six eggs get fertilised depending on the couple's luck. Five of the best fertilised eggs are then placed in the wife's uterus. Again based on chance one or two or three fertilised eggs get attached to the uterus. A blood test done just a week after this process will reveal if the wife is pregnant. If so, this is one super happy moment for the husband, wife and the doctor who is facilitating all this.

Even after all this effort, conception does not happen to some couple. In that case the doctor tries to find out the cause through further tests and tries to figure out why the procedure was unsuccessful. Some people are lucky enough to conceive the first time itself, just like one passing CA in their first attempt. But for others several repeated trials may be required before they finally succeed. If that is the case, the couple's decision to keep trying depends on how much they can afford to spend, how much family support they have and also on their patience and perseverance.

Sometimes when more than two babies are formed in the uterus, a foetus reduction is done to remove more than two foetuses for the safety of the mother and the children in the womb. Even after conception the expectant mother faces several problems. So lot of precautionary measures have to be taken. She is required to take bed rest for the first three months and if any further complication crops up for the rest of her pregnancy as well. She has to take shots and medicines through out her pregnancy. If a situation so warrants she may be hospitalised several times during her pregnancy and appropriate treatments given including even minor surgeries. One of the side effects of this treatment is diabetes. so she has to take precautionary measures for that as well. Thus after successfully protecting the baby for thirty six weeks the doctor delivers the baby through C section. This is a tremendous group effort which has to be applauded.

The mother-in-law has to really care for her daughter-in-law if she wants to have the pleasure of enjoying a grand kid! The wife must be ready to endure all the pain and suffering required to successfully carry out this treatment. And the husband must be willing to spend money freely with out grumbling and also take care of his wife nicely who is going through both a physical and a mental ordeal. I know of a couple who sold their flat in order to pay for their treatment but are now blessed with a healthy child.

Some couple go for surrogacy. They hire a woman to carry their child. But this is some what complicated. A third party unrelated to the child to be born is involved in this process, Of course the debt to her can be repaid by payment of money. But we still would not know of how the surrogate mother feels when she gives up the child that she has been carrying for nine months to the biological parents. Then there is the legal matter which has to be dealt with properly.

There is actually a much simpler way than all of this to have a baby and that is through adoption. There are a bunch of small kids who are longing for parental love and there is this group of parents longing to have children. If only they are both connected it not only solves their individual problems but also brings immense joy to both groups. Some of my friends have adopted kids. They do so when the baby is hardly a month old. So the child grows up as their own. Uncannily, I have noticed that these kids somehow resemble one of the two adopted parents.

Yes, different DNA only, no doubt. But if only the couple have the heart to overlook that fact and accept the baby as their own, they are so praiseworthy! It is such a commendable act. In fact it is such a win-win situation for all concerned. I have seen parents who adopted a child first go in for a second adoption to provide a sister or a brother for the first one! What a magnanimous gesture 🙂

6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Viju
    Mar 31, 2012 @ 02:26:11

    Being a person who was conceived after my mother underwent treatment (my parents were very closely related by family), I’ve heard many an incident about the process and the medical problems that my mother underwent during the process. She luckily had my father by her side at all times.And when I pestered her for a sibling, seeing my friends’ siblings, she had to go through the process again, just for me! And even though I was around 5 years old then, I still remember how joyous I was seeing this little baby, also called my sister. And she’s the biggest gift ever that anyone has ever given me. And I named her 🙂


  2. amas32
    Mar 31, 2012 @ 02:36:16

    Thank you for sharing something so personal courageously in an open forum. Please convey my regards to your parents. Parenthood is a joyous experience, though one has to be ready for all the hardships right from inception.


  3. raji
    Apr 13, 2012 @ 12:00:39

    Read about Kumar Swamy . I am thankful to have associated with him through the Nalayira Dhivya Prabandham class. Through your blog you have created an awareness about such a good soul I am glad that people will come to know about him. He is a SIGARAM THOTTIA MANIDHAR. Your tamiljust flows out fluently makes reading enjoyable.


  4. amas32
    Apr 14, 2012 @ 10:49:32

    Thank you for the lovely comment. Yes, those who know him are blessed 🙂


  5. sukanya
    Apr 25, 2012 @ 09:44:30

    Yes – a close of friend of mine (Chandrasekar – Colombo), adopted two kids – a boy first and a year later a girl. Now he is blessed with a boy baby after 18 years. God is great.


  6. amas32
    Apr 26, 2012 @ 13:17:45

    Thank you for sharing this. I admire that couple. God bless them and their family!


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